So I guess this is the start of a new James, went to the doctors today, so I guess my plan for self improvement begins today. I will start taking strolls through the park Monday's after work. If you want to join me feel free to contact me and we can arrange it..... Hopefully this changes my semi-dark outlook on life....
So, why we're all here for.... A segment of a short story I started in February and am considering working on, during my weight loss, exercising regiment, at least I should work on my mind, as well as my body. So here's the opening to the as of now untitled tale. I think you may be interested in this...
He sat alone at a bar. It was the sixth of July, the beads of condensation ran down the bottle of his beer like sweat from a whores breasts. "What have I got myself into this time" he thought as he took another swig. His name was Jarvis McClaren. He was the son of Scottish immigrants, his father left home when he was six, and he moved to America with his mother Lucy. Jarvis had lived a hard life, growing up on the streets of San Francisco.
The jukebox kicked onto a new song as Jarvis finished the beer. It was nearly closing time, as Jarvis left the bar, he drew a cigarette from his packet and lit it with a match. as he walked out onto the sidewalk towards his apartment he thought of the case he was working on. A body had been found in the alley behind city hall. The victim was a 28 year old male who had been cut up into quarters.
This was Jarvis' first case working as a private investigator. He had taken the case from a friend of his who knew the victim. The victim was a regular guy, he worked as a janitor at an elementary school as he worked on his graduate thesis in education. Something was amiss thought Jarvis as we went over the dossier about the victim. His name was Phillip Jones.
Jarvis walked into his apartment, it was a studio. He threw a tv dinner into the oven and sat down on his couch. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and turned on the television. He watched the news, hoping to find out any information in regards to the case. Tomorrow Jarvis thought, he would go investigate the family of Jones, and look around his apartment. maybe there he could find some clues.
So there you have that... feel free to give comments, or jibes, or whatever, maybe we can work on something together....
"the beads of condensation ran down the bottle of his beer like sweat from a whores breasts" I'm no writer but that line stands out a little strong. It's nice to use an analogy to describe a scene but if you do it once you have to use that amount of detail in the rest of the story/settings.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure where the story is going to go but this character doesn't seem like he's going to be a very good PI postponing his work to drink so often.